Facing My Faults

I know it has been way too long since the last time I have taken the time to write things down here. Honestly since the last time I wrote consistently it seems as if I have lost my fire for the Lord. I see myself getting lazy not only through my everyday life agenda but lazy in seeking and honoring God. I seem to be getting caught up in little pointless things that keep me from the things that need to get done. The only real time that I have picked up the Bible lately was for class and that is the one thing professors told us not to do. I am literally spending no time with God and prayer. I feel down and broken many times during the day. My grades are slipping, I don't have the energy to work out, and I am slowly getting over playing baseball. Sound ridiculous? Well it is. For some reason I thought that I would be able to handle a full schedule this semester. So far it hasn't worked out for me. Not only do I have practice every day except Sunday but I also have class Monday through Friday then work on Saturdays and Sundays. Leaving me basically no time to do anything really and by the time I am done with practice all I want to do is eat and be lazy. I see other people studying for test, working out, telling me what God is doing in their lives, and then I can't even think about the last time I studied for a test, the last time I worked out, or the last time I had a real encounter with my Jesus. I get caught up in making friends, girls, and pointless things on the computer. I try to distance my self from certain things but for some reason they keep popping up. I try to pray real hard but for some reason I just can't figure out what the real problem is. Basically I just want to give up even though that isn't an option. I need to be able to man up and face my faults and open up to others about what is going on in my life. I know that there are people in my life that are willing to listen but I don't know if I know them well enough to open up to help me through this slump. Things I am struggling in include: lustful thoughts, anger, hate, stress, time management, prayer, frustration, love, judging, stealing, laziness, money management, not going to church Sunday morning, selfish thoughts and actions, inappropriate jokes and thoughts, watching R films, looking more then once on bad things that my eyes stumble upon, and many more that I can't even think of. Now I am not running around doing all of these things at once. Honestly I am praying for each and everyone of these things and I can feel the conviction everyday. Every time I commit one of these faults I often have to fight off the enemy and try my best not to slip up and regret something that I do later. This does lead to frustration and lame thoughts that posses me throughout the day. God awakened me today while sitting in my favorite class of the semester New Testament History and Literature with Dr. Mickey Klink. I have never met a man that truly loves scripture like he does. The way he talks about it makes me feel like a child again upon how excited he gets when talking about certain verses and chapters throughout the new testament. Today he talked about letting others know about your faults and for some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks. I new right away that I needed to get things off of my chest and I didn't know how to do it, so after I got up in bed I decided that I was going to read the Bible but when I got up in here for some reason I felt the need to write and talk about what is going on in my life. So I dusted off the good ol blog and decided to pump some stuff out. It feels real good to be able to flow freely on the keyboard without having to really think about what to write about. It is also nice to type something that isn't notes or an essay. It makes me realize how much I miss taking the time to write everyday about my life and my experiences with God. I pray that I will be able to do this more especially since I go to bed late every night now. I definitely have the time to put something up hear everyday but for some reason I just don't. So today I am going to do something that I have never done and just list some stuff asking if you can pray for me. Although no one may really go on here anymore, I need all the prayer I can get. I could probably go on and on with the things that are really going on inside my head lately but I just wanted to get the point across...it is 1AM so i don't know if the whole thought process really worked but I am glad that I actually took the time to get this stuff off my chest.

Although reading this may seem like I am being selfish, it is because I am just trying to get a lot of stuff off of my chest that I have built up inside of me. Everything I think of I write it down no matter how big or small of a circumstance it may be. Once I am able to cope all these things together and figure them out I will be able to help others who may be struggling just like I am today.
Please pray for God to help me for:
Being able to use my time wisely
Help me to keep from committing any type of sin
Keep me away from sexual lust
Keep me away from the love of money
Help me manage my money better
Help me not to judge others
Help me to not be lazy
Help me to not get caught up in pointless necessaries
Help me to seek God and have a burning desire to desire him
Help me to find time to sleep and to wake up refreshed
Help me to love others as Jesus loved me
Help me to be able to represent Jesus everywhere I go
Keep me from looking at things I shouldn't
Keep me humble
Help me to be able to read the Bible and understand Jesus more
Help me not to get frustrated
Help me to be able to do my homework
Help me to take things seriously
Help me to get closer to the guys on my team
Help me to be able to set the good example
Help me not to boast
Help me to be fair
Keep me from steeling anything whatsoever
Pray that I am able to find someone close to me that I can talk to about anything and have them understand what the heck is going on in my unusual brain.

Dear God,
Thank you for pushing me into writing the things I did here today. Help me to be able to find the time to do this on a daily basis. Help me to get closer to you and not do this for myself but to do it all for you! I pray that I can be able to spend time with my family more often and be able to go to church on Sunday mornings. Help me to work harder in both school, baseball, and most of all reading the Bible. Give me a good night sleep so that I may be refreshed for the oncoming day. Help me to do anything I can to serve you God. Help me to keep my eyes and thoughts away form anything sexual God. Help me not to judge others but to love them. Please guide me on the right path to righteousness. Help me to kick off this the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. Give me the strength I need to be able to keep you in my thoughts throughout the day.
I love You.
Amen