Day 15 "Let's Go Outback Tonight"

Daily Summary: Okay well I was up around 12:00AM so I figured I would throw this into today's writing. As I was laying in bed millions of thoughts went through my mind like they normally do. All of a sudden I began feeling sick and self cautious about myself. It kind of felt like something was kind of attacking me. I started attacking back at myself and basically feeling sorry for myself and then I remembered what I wrote yesterday about how I should go to God about these kind of things more often. So I instantly stopped what I was doing and began to pray out loud. It was amazing. Right when i started talking I realized that I haven't prayed like this out loud in I don't know how long. It made me feel much more closer to go God like He is actually right next to me just listening and comforting me. It was an awesome feeling to be able to feel Him right next to me. I have been nervous before about praying out loud in front of people and just praying in general about the right things sometimes scarred me because I didn't want to be selfish or anything. After praying more and more I have come to realize just as scripture says that God already knows what I am going to pray so pray the pray out loud or not God still knows what I need and will give it to me according to His plan. I am pleased to say that writing this blog has really inclined me to pray better and about the right and necessary things. It has also helped me with more things that I even thought about. The list would really be to long at how much these writings have actually been shaping me into become more of a Godly person. I need to really take the time to have these out loud prayers and also to thank God more and more for the strength He has given me to get through all of this. I love Him big time. Well when I was sleeping I was dreaming about me being in a house and then hearing someone knocked on the door. I woke in my dorm and said shoot why don't they ring the door bell. I did this only realizing where I was and I didn't know if someone really knocked on the door. It was early and I didn't go and look. I figured if it was anyone it was Hawkins wanting to go to breakfast. I got out of bed, put on a sweatshirt and then got another knock on the door. Sure enough it was Hawkins both times. I told about the dream deal he laughed and then we went an ate. I woke up with the biggest kink in my neck and I tried to get it out by rubbing it and what not but nothing seemed to work. After breakfast I watched an episode of niptuck and then took a shower. It made me feel a lot better and I also noticed that my tattoo is healing quite well. Every time I look at it I love it, I just think it is so original and so fun ha. Well after breakfast I got to cleaning my room. For some reason it started to smell and the air freshener wasn't working so I took the trash out. After that everything was pretty much fine. I relaxed until lunch rolled around. It was quite excellent and enjoyable. Later on I headed down for another day of wonderful practice. Today was an inter squad day and it went alright I guess. I once again didn't really hit the ball well until my last at bat. It was real frustrating to me as I had doubts that I even would continue to play after a few years. My body was full with pain the whole day I felt like an old man. Both knees hurt when I run, both wrist hurt when I swing, my shoulder aches when I throw, and now my ankles are going out. I don't understand what it is but right now its tough. I find it hard to even get comfortable while standing up for a long period of time or even when sitting. That could be the A.D.D. I think I have but we will talk about that later. Baseball is a weird one day ya love it the next day you hate it. My mind is also the same way I could be really thrilled about something for about a week or so but after that it kind of gets old to me and I get over it. That is why I am so surprised that I have actually made it this far with writing my blog. I enjoy every second of it! Well enough with the complaining stuff. After practice I called my dad like I usually do and he said he was on his way in to Anaheim and asked me if I wanted to meet him then go to my step moms work at Outback Steakhouse. She is a bartender there and has been for something like 13 years. Anyways I said heck yea and met up with him. I got so excited that I was going to be able to hang with him and my little bro. I felt like I haven't seen him or my step mom in the longest time. We had a great time just talking about everything that was going on in each others lives. It was also nice to be able to get off campus and enjoy a great meal from this fabulous restaurant. I had this sirloin sand witch thing and it filled me up big time. I loved it. I felt a really good connection between me and my dad tonight and I know he really loves me and would do anything for me. I also felt this with my step mom and little brother with whom I do not really have a solid relationship with. I really miss all of them and I am going to be hanging out with them for a little while when I come home this weekend. After we all hung out for a bit, I drove back to the good ol school and got in my dorm room and began writing this and everything. For the first time I am actually listening to country music although most real country buffs don't believe this particular band is country The Rascal Flatts, it is the closest I really get to listening to country. I was just all of a sudden in the erg of listening to them they make me think of my big sister and my mom driving in the car all together because that's all we used to listen to. Awe the good times haha. To end the the night out I just watched some episodes of NipTuck, read the Word, and did some shoulder stretches. Nothing to special, oh I also text my good bud Emily (Em-Head) for a while. We have been texting like everyday for a couple weeks now just being friends and what not. I have been really praying to have more people like her in my life and she is a true blessing from God and I enjoy talking to her every second. Oh and we are hanging out tomorrow with a bunch of people at the beach. Bon-Fire! Can't wait for that. I can't believe tomorrow is already Friday this week has literally flown by. Shoot well I am off to bed I will see y'all tomorrow.

Daily Reading: Philippians 4:6-7
When my boy Josh and I were hanging out last weekend and driving in his car we started getting a little personal about some stuff that was going on in our lives. It was the day his grandfather had just past away and I knew it hurt him just because he was a guy that was so close to his family and loved everyone in it. He was also arguing with his girlfriend at the time and a buddy of his told him to read Philippians 3. After a while of talking I busted out the Bible that I have on my handy dandy Iphone and read the whole verse aloud to both of us. I loved the things I read and I realized that I wasn't really to familiar with this particular book so lately it has been really popping out to me when looking for particular verses to write about and read. So today I chose these particular verses because they applied to me in many ways. Being young and ambitious I am usually anxious about everything that is going on that is good in my life. With that I am also anxious about the bad things that are going on my life. I am anxious for them to disappear from my life and also worry about their outcomes. Paul here tells us to turn our worries into prayers. In order to worry less we should pray more whenever we worry we should stop and pray! If I were to do this every time I were to worry about something then I would be so much closer to God. It surprises me on how much we could really pray for everything and we don't even think about it. God is always right there and I rather worry about what is to come then to go to God. It is just another thing that I put in front of God and just another sin that I am commiting. I need to be able to use God to my advantage and don't ever put Him to waste. God is sitting up there anxious for me to come to Him with the things that are going on in my life and the things that I may need. Yet I still become selfish and I am anxious about meaningless things. The things I should be anxious about is how God is planning on using me to HIS advantage in maybe speaking to a non-believer or to make someones day just by giving them a smile. I try my best everyday to pray to God to allow me to show His light through my actions and words. I also pray asking in what ways I could serve Him. He has done so much for me and doesn't ask for much in return so this is the least I could do. Anyways, serving Him, and helping other people is the only things I should ever be anxious about or worry about. With the next verse, it talks about one of my favorite things, peace. God's peace is different from the world's peace. True peace is not found in some kind of positive thinking, in absence of conflict, or in good feelings. It comes from knowing that God is in absolute control. Our citizenship in Christ's kingdom is sure, our destiny is set, and we can have victory over sin. Let Gods peace guard our heart against anxiety. With Prayer and everything we will be able to obtain this wonderful peace from God. With that we should thank Him for everything as well, this will ease our lives and keep out the anxiousness and worry.

Daily Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
As I am real tired right now please give me the words and strength I need to get through this time of worship. Thank You for this wonderful hot day You gave us here in southern California in the middle of January God. Thank You for your Love and kindness in the gift of Prayer. I love the fact that You are always there anytime when we need You Lord, You always answer my call to You Jesus. You are my day and my night Lord. You are my Love and all of my Life. Please help me to pray more out loud to You Lord. The connectedness I felt between us was one that I haven't felt before. Please keep Satan from attacking me in these weird unusual ways. Please help me not to think negative towards anything in my life and for me to know that You are God and You are power over everyone and in all the decisions I make. Please help me to have a Christ like attitude throughout the day Lord. Help me to go through baseball and use the gift You have given me to the fullest. Please take the part of me that wants to stop playing Lord all of these physical pains are tearing me apart God and really sinking into my mind. Help them to heal so I may be comfortable when I play stand or sit. I pray that you will also keep this horrible frustration from my mind and for the little things that go on during the day not to bother me. The things I may get mad at are so ridiculous sometimes I don't even know what I am mad at. Help me to be a loving person towards others even if they aren't loving back. Help me Lord not to become anxious or worry about meaningless things. As You say Lord do not worry about today for tomorrow has enough trouble of it's own. I pray that You will help me to grow more in the relationship I have with You and thank You so much for the relationship You have given me so far. Please help me to serve You in more ways then I can imagine. Help me to spread love to others especially my family God. Help me to be safe while driving and not let the foolish driving of others get to me and ruin my day. Help me to sleep better Lord and not wake up with large kinks in my neck. I thank You for the friend Emily You have given me Lord. Someone who I can talk with about anything and for them to really be there for me. Please help me to have more friends like these in my lives and for the ones I have please help our relationship to keep on growing. I thank You also for my friend Josh in hanging out with him and sharing Your word together Lord and past experiences. I pray for my family and friends in any kind of struggle they may be going through for them to be at ease about it and come to You for help. For the ones that don't believe in You or don't have a relationship with You please guide them on the right path and have them come to me with any kind of problem so that I may show the light to them God. I pray that You will help me find a wonderful beautiful girl God one that seriously loves you like no other, wants a family, won't try to change who I am, will love me under any circumstance, and the one that is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Please help me to be patient in this process and not to jump the gun at any girl that may come may way. With that please also help me to be patient in all the things I pray for Lord. I pray that You will take self cautiousness out of my life and help me be the person You want me to be and not who I may want to be. Help me to continue to try my best to eat good and work harder to become a better baseball player. Help my team to play the best of their abilities along with myself Lord. Help each individual to participate in their own way whether we are actually in the game or not. Help the team to remain a team and for everyone to get along. Help me not to get annoyed with people just because we don't relate to each other. Also Lord, keep me away from sexual temptation, lust, keep my tongue tamed, keep me from being selfish, and also help me to find more things to do to Praise You. I love You so much God and I thank You for every breath I breath. I pray all of these things in Your wonderful name.
AMEN.