Day Summary: Well after going to bed around 2AM between writing and watching a little T.V. I woke up and got ready for church. Church went great, I go to Crossroads Christian church right by my house in Corona. Pastor Chuck just went over the things that were going on over 2008 and all of the accomplishments along with some of the problems. Then he went through and talked about what is yet to come here in 2009, and I must say God is really putting His love and grace into the church and it is one that has changed my life many times. One of the main things that I miss from being home is going to Crossroads especially the Wednesday night service called Generate. Both have caused me to have this wonderful relationship with Jesus Christ and have really pushed me to become a better follower. After church I went over to my dads to pack up some stuff and get ready to leave but he wasn't there so I went back to my moms and went to lunch. When I walked in the house everything was fine, then all of a sudden I got this deep case of sadness and it seemed like everything was getting me irritated. I just didn't want to talk to anyone about anything and every question I just became annoyed. I get in this mood from time to time and it seems like it happens almost every time I go out with the family. I don't know what it is but the smallest thing can tick me off and the whole rest of the day is reflected upon that. I personally hate the mood and I am trying to work on getting rid of it. I think the main thing is with living with my father for the past few years him and his families personality is so much different then mine so I basically raised myself for the passed three years because he didn't really understand most of the stuff that I went through. Now it isn't his fault he just didn't no better. My dad has tried his best to become a great father and give me everything I have and I thank him for that. Later on I finally got a hold of him and headed over to his house. I had to pick up my baseball stuff and a $500 check which is for my baseball Hawaii trip that I can't wait for. I kind of feel guilty with him giving me this kind of money especially since Christmas and everything just passed. I asked if he needed help but he insisted on not having any so he gladly gave me the check. After that I just hung out there and watched a little football and got my brake light all fixed up. While hanging out at my dads I got for the most part over my sad phase. I'm very happy that its gone and hopefully it wont be back for a while. Well later on I went back to my moms got all my clean laundry done thanks to my mom and began to load up to the car to head back to school. Hawkins gave me a call earlier in the day and said he got someone else to pick him up which is totally cool since I may not have had that much room in my car anyways. Well I am finally here sitting in my good old dorm room. It is definitely nice to be back and there is more people here then I thought so it was pretty cool to see some old friends and what not. My roommate probably wont be here until the morning or late tonight. He is a pretty cool guy that wants to be a pastor and we really have a good time together. We often play ping pong for hours a day or find some other way to compete with each other. I have another roommate but he is going to stay off at home for another few weeks until school rolls around on the 26Th. Well then as I was just relaxing listening to Jason Mraz I definitely realized that I was hungry and the cafe was closed so I had to go off campus to get some food. I decided to eat subway and it was delicious. Now I don't know if it is really as healthy as they say because healthy stuff just doesn't taste that good especially their 5 dollar foot long deal. Who can beat that? Well after I came back I decided to go up and bed and just try and fall asleep at a decent hour since I haven't gone to bed before 2AM the whole two week break. So I'm up here around 9:30 finishing this thing up and getting refreshed for a great day of baseball tomorrow! YEAUhhhhh!
Daily Read: Matthew 6:25-34
This one of my absolute favorite section of verses in Matthew. All of these verses are talking about how we shouldn't worry. How often do we worry about what we may look like, the thing we eat, the selfish vanities we desire...the list is incredible of how much we all worry about in a single day or even in future times. I myself worry about many things and I think this is a key part in my random sadness moods. I worry about what I look like almost everyday, I have even thought about and considered basically starving myself just because I need to loose maybe 5 or 10 pounds. Again I hate the fact that I do this to myself because I know I am blessed with the body I have and the clothes and everything I own. I know that there are people out there that have it much worse then I do yet I still sit here and complain almost everyday that I need to loose a few pounds. In fact most people look at me and tell me I am crazy for saying such a thing because they say if anything I would need to put on a few more pounds because I am to small. I basically just laugh but inside I am deeply self cautious about the way I look 8 out of 10 times I go out. It doesn't matter who I hang out with or where I am at I am just uncomfortable most of the time. I write this with disgust in my mouth especially after reading a verse like this one and thinking about what the book of Ecclesiastes starts with everything is meaningless! There shouldn't be anything I nor you should worry about as long as we have God and seek FIRST His kingdom and He will provide us with all that we need. Now looks and things aren't the only thing that this relates too. Maybe it's a job interview, or a big sports game, or whether or not your girl or boyfriends parents are gonna like you. First just pray and ask God to either give you the wisdom you need and to help Him to shine through your words and personality and He will give generously without finding fault. Never worry about today for tomorrow has enough trouble of it's own. This is just a small portion of what God offers just by seeking and trusting in Him. He will never put us down and worrying is something a believer should never think about doing. Live life for God and that's all that matters.
Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for another beautiful day and every breath You have given me today. Please forgive me for the way I acted with my mom today in ignoring her help when the truth was I needed someone to talk to. It breaks my moms heart enough seeing me sad and depressed and it breaks her heart more when I wont talk to her about it. God flee the sadness from my mind and please keep positive thoughts all around me. Help me ot to be a concrete thinker when it comes to life situations and help me to be able to give the benefit of the doubt. I thank You for later on in the day bringing me the peace and happiness I prayed for earlier I truly felt right away when I prayed that prayer the peace just being refreshed in my mind. Your power neever ceezes to amaze me. God as tommarow comes along please help me to play to the best of my ability and work hard to get better in baseball and in working out. As I fasted the first half of the day in seeking my work out schedual please help me to stay commited to what needs to be done. Give me the drive I need and the energy to push myself under all conditions. As we do the mile run tommarow help me to get it under the time expected and not a second less. Help me to be an example both on and off the field to my teemates and give me the strength I need to play my role on the team. Next Lord I would like to pray for my friend Matt Vargas as he leaves for the Marines this week. Please help him to think of You in both struggles and good times. Put a hand over Him and all soldiers and protect their lives in the dangerous things they do for the country we live in. I also would like to pray for my friend Eric Freeman's friend who he rides with he is in the hospitle with very serious injurys from an accident and doesn't yet know You to well. With Your power please heel him Lord and show him Your light and show Him a way into Your arms. Next God again as I am going to repeat this everyday, help me find a dream girl that loves You more then life itself. Help me to be able to deal with the way I look and not worry about today, tommarow, or anything at all. Help me to seek You first under all circumstances. For You are the Man. Thank you so much for the things are currently doing in my life and for speaking to me in the most miraculous ways. I love You more then anything. AMEN.
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